If you are divorcing a volatile, violent or abusive partner, your safety and welfare (and that of your family) is a top priority. An angry ex may try to hurt you or stop you from moving forward.They may do this by invading your privacy. Knowing what tactics they may try can help you protect yourself during this tumultuous time.


It is easier than ever to track someone’s movements with or without their knowledge.

One common method people use to do this is by putting an Apple AirTag on a person’s car, purse or coat. These small devices transmit location information to users, which means an ex could use one to track your location without you realizing it.

This article provides helpful tips on protecting yourself, like updating your phone’s operating system and installing certain apps.

You can also notify police, as harassment and stalking are illegal in California.


A vindictive party could glean a wealth of information by gaining access to your email, social media accounts and bank records. Thus, safeguarding these to stop an ex from accessing them is crucial during a divorce.

Some ways to do this include:

  • Changing all your passwords
  • Making your profiles private
  • Setting up two-factor authentication
  • Browsing the internet in incognito mode if you share a device
  • Locking your phone and deleting intimate data

These steps can prevent an ex from seeing something you don’t want them to see or taking something private.


If your ex is especially angry or suspicious, they may use your children as spies during a divorce. They might do this by asking your children to report back information on visitors you have, phone calls you make or any other supposed “dirt.”

Using a child in this way can be incredibly damaging for a child. In some cases, it could be a form of brainwashing and parental alienation.


If you suspect your ex is surveilling you through these or other methods, taking action immediately is crucial.

Depending on the tactics they are using, your options can include seeking a restraining order, filing a police report or working with your attorney to modify custody orders. These measures can help you get through this difficult time safely and privately.